Self Doubt

I have always been a fairly confident person. I am one of those who is always perky all the time... except when I work 60+ hours in one week. I was even giving my store manager a run for her money when I was working more hours than she was a week. She has a daughter who needs her right now; she needed to be a mom while she was working 60 hrs a week for Spirit doing things she shouldn't have been made to do. So knowing that I was running with the "big dog" and holding my own with minimal screw ups was definitely a boost in self confidence.

However, the harder I worked, the more stressed out I became. One night, about 3 weeks in, I left the safe door unlocked after my other AM did, not even 4 closes later. This hurt me bad. It blew my ego down the drain. See, my manager really pumps me up. She tells me what I need to do and I do it. She has a lot of confidence in my abilities, and it has been proven she thinks I'm capable of much more than I actually am.

Even though I have reduced myself to 20 hrs a week, I still feel doubt in all actions I make. I'm no longer an assistant manager, but I'm not just another hire. Since I started this blog, I have gradually carried a key again. I still do returns/exchanges. I still have management abilities, but without the end of the night responsibility. I don't have the confidence to run the store when someone else isn't there.

Sometimes I feel like this nervousness I feel is transferred over into other areas of my life. If it's affecting my other job, my relationships, or even my own personal worth.