Thursday, December 16, 2010

Confession #7: I Care Too Much

Now that I only have one job, things are a lot easier. I see my husband every night, we eat dinner together quite frequently, we even have been watching Netflix a lot!

*Tangent: Netflix is the best place to find documentaries! LOVE! Untangent*

However, now that I have one job, all of my energy is focused on one job.
Why do I scan papers every day?
Why don't people respect my work?
How much longer till lunch?
Why don't they like me?
Why doesn't that person invite me to their party? I work here, too, ya know!
How can I better my experience here?
What else can I do?

Really, it's just more concentration on another job that I have become obsessed with. I am obsessed about getting things done quickly and looking like a pro. No one talks to me because I'm the boss' girlfriend's daughter. I have a small pool of co workers who speak to me, but for the most part no one does. No one wants me to rat on them. But why would they think I had any reason to rat on them? Shouldn't you be doing your work? Isn't that what we're here to do? Work?

I thought that by this time I would be with people who wanted to feel fulfilled in their work and do a good job and not come to work to socialize.

I've made some enemies. I've made some cranky, passive-aggressive enemies. I got some people in trouble. Why? Because I care about doing my job right. I care so much I have to say things to the boss. I have to say things to people if they don't do things right. I have to inquire when people go to work because it doesn't mesh with the system laid in place by other angry, passive aggressive people.

I don't mean to cause trouble, I just want to follow the rules. If I follow the rules and they don't, then when I'm trying to do my job, their slactivism keeps me from working efficiently.

How fair is that?
It's not.

I just want people to follow the rules because I follow the rules. I try to break them... I just can't.

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